This is an edited letter I sent to a friend who is struggling with addiction:

Growing up and as an adult, I worked and lived with people with substance abuse problems. Sometimes I felt as though I was the only sane one among crazies, but I learned from it. Since I inherited the same traits, I have empathy toward those who struggle with it. Here are a few principles that may help based on my own observations and experience.

First and foremost is to recognize that the traits that cause the anxiety are good traits if applied properly. You can be fun and a go getter and there are people who wish to have the exuberance and adaptability that is a part of your make up. Unfortunately, factors and conditions can steer this delightful compulsion in the wrong direction, make us hostage to certain vices and result in depression afterward.

I’ve noticed there is always another party that causes this anxiety. Every friend and family member I know that has the same issues dealing with anxiety have this as a factor in their thinking. I have hundreds of hours into sitting with people telling their woes and they are delighted to have someone to present their grievances to. If I wasn’t there they would relive the moments themselves constantly in their heads. The grandmother that helped raise me, family members and friends along the way, all had this in common; a third party that made them helpless and messed up their lives along with the fear that they may have done the same to others themselves. I want present you a different way of thinking.

Every person that wakes up under the sun is given a gift from God. It is called “a day” and it is more valuable than any monetary reward. It is a personal gift given directly to each of us so we can do what we want with it. The purpose of this gift is happiness. We should make every effort to be happy by enjoying this gift. Every person in the world is equal on this level. There is a psalm that says,” This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Many people squander this gift in the same way a prodigal squanders his wealth. They are not satisfied with ruining their own happiness but they want to take happiness away from others in the same way the prodigal took his father’s wealth. But we must tend to our own happiness and appreciate those who want to contribute to it. That is our first and foremost responsibility. Of course we should always be ready to receive prodigals with open arms, but it is out of our realm of influence to force them to be happy. They have the same starting point as we do, the same wealth of a new day every morning, so it follows that they are responsible for their own happiness. No one depends on you for their happiness and yours shouldn’t depend on anyone else. Straying outside of this realization results in anxiety.

Sometime thought patterns need to be nipped in the bud. Christians say to cast all your cares on Jesus; but to be at the point of casting means we receive something. Some things aren’t ours to pick up in the first place. Those of us who have been strapped with responsibility for many years have to work to abandon living for everyone else and enjoy the life that God has given us. This isn’t selfishness but it is good stewardship. We have so many talents, so many snarky remarks and so much to enjoy and improve, we can’t let anyone else step in on our ability to get all the happiness we can out of the gift of each day. Once this becomes a habit, there is no need for rehabilitation.

There it is; that tightness again

When I was a young man

I mouth the words “no regrets”

There is a joy

We ran through the fields together

It is interesting how words evolve into having different meanings according to the culture. Equality is one of them. When a person studies math, it is easy to see it. Once the variables have been added, an equation is either true or false. How do you tell the difference? A true equation ends up equal on both sides of the equal sign. A false one ends with an imbalance. But you don’t know the answer until the variables such as x or y are filled in. The equal sign points to both sides.

When people are talking about equality, there is the impression that it means in a communist sense that everyone should have the same amount. This is only one side of the equation. But true equality means we have opportunity to access both sides of the equation. Justice is when both sides of a transaction are balanced, in the same way a true equation means both sides are equal. How do you find this out? By filling in the variables.

It is natural and right to want a good product for our money. When we hire someone, in order for the transaction to be just, the wages received and the work produced should be equal. Some of the variables in this are skills, competency and region. A drifter is worth less than a doctor. If there are too many doctors in an area, the value of the service may be less due to competition in the area. We can move, get an education and use good character to receive more compensation. A person who gets compensation for doing less is creating an injustice. It doesn’t matter how wealthy his neighbors are. Every person, in order to create equality, must put their skills and effort into the equation in order for any compensation to be just. Someone who doesn’t do this is creating an injustice since on one side there is compensation and the other there is little effort.

Some people just run into hard times; but hard times aren’t unjust unless a person is putting every effort into getting out. Tough times should motivate us to do better; improve character, education or location. If the lesson is ignored, it would follow that hard times will rightfully come. If we recognize this, it doesn’t mean we lack compassion but we are realistic enough to see what is at issue. To compensate poor performance, anywhere it is applied, will result in poor performance. If we encourage it, we become a part of the problem by ignoring the injustice. This causes resentment in both parties; the giver due to a lack of reward and the receiver who loses the ability to see his part in making the transaction just.

Listening to the talking heads

As the sun closes the night

I have been moving poems around a bit lately. The purpose is for publishing. It takes work to transfer and edit and I will keep you posted on the progress. It has been fun learning the process and I hope to have a digital copy completed to my satisfaction so hard copies are easier. Presently I have one completed but want to improve on it. The hardest part is organizing them so it remains interesting. There may be a few that don’t make it and some that should be first. I have enlisted friends to help and any input on this site will be appreciated. It is all for enjoyment of expression and not for buisiness purposes. It will also help as prep for the bigger things I would like to get out.