It is said that actions speak louder than words yet at the same time we want the actions to come from the heart and be genuine. The right passions can be reinforced through habits or an epiphany through observations and education. It is clear however that there are two parts to having good character; passions and actions. A majority of the population is interested in the passion aspect. There are countless people who call themselves philosophers but they lack real world application. We see idealists born every day and yet those who act on good principles are hard to find since they are less vocal about it. They are found working and improving their lives and in the process, others are inspired to follow the same course of actions. A true philosopher is looking for ways to make himself a better person. There are dabblers who only use philosophy to look for ways to criticize others, giving themselves a righteous appearance while their actions aren’t consistent. In the end there is a greater cause than demanding justice. The greatest cause is becoming a just person. The same goes for kindness, courage or any character trait that is virtuous. So along these lines let us continue.

There have been numerous philosophies that attempt to explain human behavior. Unfortunately, no one has been able to pin it down by looking deep into the human psyche. It is there where choices are made between that which is right or that which causes damage, but the standard lies elsewhere. There exists a template when it comes to character that we are reaching toward. Aristotle presents observations on these standards of good motives and behavior when he wrote Ethics. A work of art is made according to something conceived inside a person but standards of behavior are more of a pattern that we all know we should follow. It is as if a perfect person exists as a pattern and we ask ourselves what this person would do if the same circumstances arose. And circumstances are important. It is important to use the right amount of courage so as not to be foolhardy, the right amount of kindness as not to be gullible and the list goes on. Virtue has to consider more than mere rules because each person’s circumstances are different. It is as if a template of perfection exists and we try to apply it to our experiences in this imperfect world. Sometimes we achieve the goal and other times we don’t. Sometimes we are absolute flops and other times we score and hit the bulls-eye. Every person has to work at it and we each have our hands full keeping ourselves straight. Only an arrogant person would say otherwise.

You are a worthy project. Trying to change others is a futile exercise. By focusing on others it is too easy to lose ourselves in the comparisons. When dealing with ourselves, it is good to do some soul searching to figure out what triggers us to fall short. What is causing the anxiety? And in our understanding of others we all can use a little more grace by understanding their circumstances. All of us should have the expectation of doing our best to live our lives according to a template of goodness so we can enjoy life better. Since good character begets contentment and peace with others it is right that we study the mechanics of it.

A great society is one where the individuals consider acquiring good character for themselves a greater achievement than wealth or any cause. To cultivate a cooperative society it is necessary to focus on character traits rather than physical traits or associations. Unfortunately people lose sight of this along a path of compromises and forgetfulness. Staying faithful to ourselves takes constant work and we are always learning. We make laws to deal with those who stray too far from good character. The worse a society becomes the more laws and enforcement are needed. Those who are considerate and have good character need very few laws. With all this talk about good character it would behoove us to look at what good really means and this is where we will continue.
After looking at the three areas of good; honor, advantage and pleasure, with their opposites; shame, loss and misery, a question remains: Why would anyone do things that cause shame, loss, or make themselves miserable? This question has been asked through the centuries. The political answer would concern injustices; the religious answer would address sin or a dark force; the psychological answer would have to do with past experiences. Aristotle simplified it into a question of how one manages pleasure and pain.

We can’t say that pain is always bad. As a matter of fact, the things that are worthwhile are the things that are the hardest to acquire. We see this in the arts; the things that are the most complex and hardest to make are the most admired. In the same way, a person who has been through a struggle and continues to work and improve their character is someone to be admired. Those who become cynical and blame others might get pleasure out of it, but aren’t improving their situation. If we always took pleasure in doing what is right, there wouldn’t be many problems. But all of us have areas that give us pleasure yet can hinder our lives. To be temperate or disciplined is the term used for the times when a person is controlling those areas. The goal of having good character is to go after the things that are pleasurable yet avoid excesses that can take away from the quality of life overall.

With a product of art it is usually easy to recognize excellence in quality since it is standing in front of you. Genuine character is a bit harder since motives cannot be observed. Someone might act a certain way because they are under restraints and yet their heart isn’t in it. We wonder if politicians or bosses really mean what they say. To say someone is genuine means that their heart lines up with their actions. Sometimes out of necessity, we all have to act a certain way to be honorable with the hope that our motives will eventually line up. Those who not only lose the enjoyment but also lose self discipline are what we call “burned out”. Genuine enjoyment can happen over time in most things and it is always refreshing when duty is no longer a matter of self discipline but a matter of the heart. We see this in sports and music. The practices can be a matter of pain but after skill is acquired over time it can become a pleasure.

What does it mean to be good? In a commercial sense good is used to sell products, in a political sense it is an ideology, and in a religious sense, it will be things that appease a higher authority. While studying ethics we look at good in a way that is applicable to everything we do in life, things that everyone recognizes, things that are common sense. People have a tendency to use comparisons. Rather than using a social comparison approach that depends on the clique a person belongs to, we will focus on the actions alone.

There are three aspects to goodness. The first is honor; things that are trustworthy, courageous and just. The second aspect of good is that which is advantageous; the things help accomplish our ambitions in life. The third aspect of good is that which is pleasurable; things that give us enjoyment and fulfill our desires.

These aspects of good don’t always coincide. That which is pleasurable might not be honorable. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. That which is honorable might not be advantageous. People seek ways to reconcile them in their day to day lives to find overall happiness. To say we got away with something means that the action could have affected one aspect of good negatively but didn’t. Regrets can be about choices between different aspects of good where a person might wish they wouldn’t have sacrificed a certain good as much. Sometimes a person wonders if the right choices were made. Those who want to change the past will wish to put more of one of the goods back in. But it is best to focus on the future where choices still remain.

The three goods have three opposites. Instead of honor, actions might produce spite. Instead of advantage, actions can produce loss. Instead of pleasure, actions can produce misery. We want to fit all the good that is possible into this life while avoiding the opposites as much as possible. Having the ability to recognize the good and the greater goods is the beginning of making the right choices with our actions.

Everyone wants to be held in high regard. This is what honor addresses. In the same way, it is best not to be spiteful toward others. Honor seems to have more bearing than the other goods. When we talk about rights, it is implied that every citizen is due a minimum amount of honor no matter what their character. It is easier to see actions that are due honor toward those who are nearest to us. Sometimes we give more honor than is due to celebrities and leaders when we have no idea what their actual character contains. A person can demand respect but to be held in high regard is much better since people will treat them with honor when no one is watching. The things done out of spite usually end up hurting us rather than the subject. The best way to be treated with high regard is to treat people with the honor you wish to have.

We are in a constant pursuit of making good memories. What is a memory? The original and natural way to preserve them is by recording them in our minds. An experience passes while our mind picks up the sensory information such as sight and sound as they pass. Our feelings at that time are also recorded. We use words as markers for our feelings as a way to produce a river of expression flowing from our minds into the present moments. 

I like the saying,”Own it”. It makes the most sense to focus on improving the things that are under our control. Circumstances change as do our finances and relationships. But the part of us that doesn’t have to change in this tumultuous world is our conduct. The way we approach each day determines how it will turn out. If we allow the days events to drive us, our mood will depend on events. Only by seizing the day can our character mold it into what we want it to be. This can sound like a string of platitudes, but the truth remains that our conduct determines our life and every individual is in charge of their own. Blaming others and their conduct for our own moods and failures can become a habit. As Mark Twain said,”Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.” Some go as far as to blame ancestors. Wouldn’t it be better to look at our future generations instead and try to be a good ancestor for them?

Excellence in knowledge comes through learning while excellence in character comes through practice. It is that way in any skill we want to acquire. A musician or a builder will first learn and then as they put things to practice, skill is acquired. A person with good character is someone who is skilled at controlling their conduct. This more than anything is the foundation for a good society. The goal of producing good citizens who are courageous, cooperative, temperate and motivated should be foremost in any political agenda. Wisdom and discretion put to practice produces good conduct. A society that conducts itself using personal responsibility and fairness cannot help but excel.

As compared to regular learning, character studies are more fluid. There is a proper application for each principle and there are extremes either way. For instance, some say that it is best to avoid confrontation to avoid stress. Others say you need to be aggressive to get what you want. The right amount is whatever you can work out that is effective and considerate. This depends on the state of mind of the individuals and circumstances. A diligent person will use discretion and consideration while getting what they want. An unmotivated person will either give up due to the stress or become unreasonable. The right way to work most things out is more of a dance where toes get stepped on occasionally with apologies. Eventually with practice we figure things out, but each dance is different. It is good to train ourselves to deal with life’s successes and disappointments with a certain persistence and poise. Grasping the concept that we are in control of our own atmosphere is the starting point.

When it comes to happiness, most of the choices are between things that are good. The goal is to figure out what is best. This is what the word virtue means. To characterize life by contrasts between good and evil is too simplistic. Good and bad do exist and there are depraved people out there, but most of our day to day dealings are with normal situations. The most difficult choices in everyday life are between the good things that we want badly that might effect the other good things in our lives.

Let’s use shopping as an example. There may be things that we have always wanted and yet the finances might not be there. It is no fun to get bogged down by payments to work like a slave for lenders. There is a certain satisfaction and joy that comes with not having to constantly work overtime while still having cash on hand to do what one wants. Wanting a particular item isn’t evil or greedy but is a reasonable desire. Although the item might be good, it may not be the best thing for the goal of happiness. The upkeep might become more of a taxation than the enjoyment it gives. Is it better to have freedom and relaxation or to have everything we desire right away? It is good to acquire things and take care of them but the more all the ramifications of our choices are examined, the more likely we will be to make choices that add joy to our lives. These principles apply to many areas of life.

In all our endeavors, decisions are made between opportunities to reach what is best for our lives. There are two aspects to these decisions. There is the aspect that is concerned with data such as math, laws and science. The other area is morals such as honor or loyalty. Using the shopping example, the item will have a certain style that meets our desire, costs a certain amount and the checkbook will have a certain balance. The other aspect has to do with shoulds. Should I buy this now or should I wait? Will this make my spouse angry? Should I steal it? The data includes logistics and arrangements while the moral includes purpose and duty. Our minds examine both sides when pursuing passions. The goal is to make decisions that bring the most happiness to our lives.

This isn’t an exact science but more of an art where we are in control of the brushstrokes. It isn’t that we are trying to achieve an impossible perfection but we want to avoid pitfalls that lead to misery. looking at the mechanics of reaching an ideal life helps us to understand where to make adjustments. It is good to understand the mechanics of an automobile to keep it running but the purpose is to get to places we want and to enjoy the scenery on the way. In relationships it is good to step back and examine them occasionally to keep things right so they can continue to be enjoyable. The subject of ethics examines these things on a personal and social level.

Come on Get Happy! Who remembers the Partridge Family theme song? Happiness is the ultimate purpose of human existence according to Aristotle. When interacting with others, it is hard to make everyone happy. Live in a big family for a while and you will find out that everyone has their own interests and we each have little compromises to make in order to have a good environment. Happiness isn’t about always getting our own way in things. Cheesy platitudes about happiness don’t really help for most of the things we encounter in life.  What is a common theme or principle that is most likely to help people to be happy regardless what their interests are?

We had arrived at the soul as the initiator of happiness. The fact that we own our souls doesn’t vary. Fortunes, environments and relationships are subject to change. The goal isn’t to be the man on the mountain and meditate ones life away to avoid confrontation. There has to be some kind of interaction along with our thoughts when it comes to pursuing happiness. The actions should be good and would also need to happen consistently. A good life isn’t gauged by a single day thank goodness and we all have our bad ones.  Finding a general approach to life that would give the maximum overall enjoyment for all the things we encounter would be beneficial. Now we are getting warmer.

There was an inscription at a religious site at the Greek religious site Delos that said “It is noble to live justly and good to live healthy but the greatest pleasure is in obtaining what one longs for.” This touches on each area we mentioned.  In everything we desire, preserving happiness through right actions while never giving up on what we love is the attitude that produces a consistent joyful lifestyle. They don’t have to conflict. But they do have to work through realities and challenges. The tenacity and drive that seeks to improve things and overcome obstacles is a common trait for enjoyment in every endeavor. When working with others, we have to keep in mind that everyone is in a pursuit toward what they love and we should respect that. The goal in having a community and forming governments is for each individual to make little compromises so everyone can pursue happiness.

It was often said by those of my generation.”If it feels good do it”. What is good? It is such an overused word that seems different to every person. If someone asks us how our day is going the standard response is “good”, if everything seems to be going well. The word good has to do with preferences in one way and is widely variable such as art and automobiles. But another aspect concerns things that are universally good such as safety and health. Happiness consists more of a pursuit to make a lifetime collection of good memories and accomplishments. A caring person knows that sometimes immediate pleasures have to be sacrificed to acquire a future with consistent happiness. This is called self discipline. But we need to enjoy life too. We use the word indulge to describe times when we break away from self discipline. Forming a habit of indulgence can be a detriment to happiness although on occasion it can be a refreshing break from routine.

Equating happiness with external goods alone is a poor philosophy. Contentment is a good thing and having basic necessities is a starting point for having a good life. But there is another aspect in respect to mankind. Animals can be content with food, shelter and social interaction. Humans have a rational element in their minds full of analytics, vision and ambitions. This is often overlooked by social planners. It isn’t enough to provide sustenance for people. To focus on this aspect is degrading since it turns everyone into pet gerbils that need fed rather than classy people who possess reasoning minds. People need to use their minds to overcome obstacles and make a life for themselves. When governing, be it raising children or running a nation, an important way to impart happiness is through forming good habits.

Rather than debating what is good concerning preferences in food or clothing styles, a study about good habits would concern what is universal to everyone. This would be a study that would contain principles that would help individuals and communities reach the goal of happiness. A likely deathbed reflection would be on the ultimate life; whether we experienced happiness ourselves and gave it to those we love. That is why the study of ethics is an important one and this site is dedicated to the things that involve rational thought.

What do women want? Conversely, what do men want? These questions have been asked since the beginning of human existence. A general answer such as, “they only want to have fun”, is misleading since there are conflicting views on what people think are good for them. There is a common goal that connects the various goods we seek that we give the word “happiness”. The goal of governing is to help people pursue happiness. When promises for happiness have been broken, people fight with each other politically. Yet we need to work with each other in order to maintain an environment where people can pursue their passions and live a good life.

The subject of what is good for people can only be addressed in broad terms. It isn’t like math where answers are precise. A person who is well informed knows the difference when generalities or specifics are being addressed. When we say a conversation has digressed, it means that someone has gone off the general subject and made it into one about a certain situation that is important to them but may be only a small part of the actual discussion. Discretion is needed when discussing politics.

It is also important to be mature. An immature person makes assumptions based on notions rather than experience. It is easier to discuss behavioral things among people who have learned from life experiences since there are fewer foolish notions to address. The distance needed to travel to get somewhere with substance is much shorter. Having said this, lets proceed further into the subject of pursuing happiness.

There are three ways that happiness is pursued. Having fun is the pursuit of things that bring pleasure, but it cannot be the only thing our happiness is based in. It isn’t possible for everything to be fun. Our relationships are also an important part of happiness. Friends and family play a major role in our happiness. Yet we need our independence. Third is our peace of mind since it is hard to enjoy life full of anxiety and conflict. But sitting around thinking all the time isn’t much fun or sociable. We see that it takes an application of all three areas and some more than others depending on the person.

Philosophy is the study of associations. The only way the physical world around can be understood and communicated is through comparisons. If someone speaks about a tree or the color green, an image comes to our mind. It works the same way for behavior and self-image. No one wants to repeat bad experiences and we all want to repeat all of the good experiences we can. A mind when it thinks is pulling up images for us according to fears, fantasies, creativity and problem solving. At night our minds can bring images in the form of involuntary dreams that are sometimes pleasant and at other times unpleasant. In order to live a good life it is important we make correct associations and consider the right things good and bad, do-able and impossible, and of course timing issues. Philosophy can be used to address numerous areas of associations applicable to science and behavior.

Religions, politics, friendship and all other associations we participate in will form their own common images that appear to be ideal. The trouble with third party images is that there is always the potential for the image to be shifted by the third party to take advantage of us. A person can lose their own self in these associations. A person who claims to be in a search to find themselves is really looking for a new unique image to acquire; some kind of character they want to be. To start over means closing out the the standards of the past to form a new image for the future. The image of this new ideal person will have to stay in the forefront the mind. Letting go of the old person isn’t always easy.

This ideal person can change depending on the period of life a person is in. A young person isn’t interested in becoming a grandparent but a parent. Through time, goals become completed and ideals are adjusted to meet the realities. A crisis occurs when there isn’t a new image to meet the new realities and new goals need to be made. It can get frustrating when the changes we want aren’t materializing and dramatic changes don’t solve the problems.

The best approach is to have a personal image that is based in good character rather than basing it on pursuits. Change is natural to life, but if someone asks what it takes to be a good wife, husband, friend or Christian, the answer should always be the same; having good character. For instance, telling the truth is always a good habit that everyone considers desirable. Being kind and courteous should apply to the image of a person you want to be. The new image should be associated with good behavior such as encouraging others more or being a better listener. The past cannot be remade but the future can. Now is always the right time to start over and shake off the past. Ask yourself each morning what your image is of an ideal life and then go after it. The steps may start out small but we all have an exciting future out there waiting for us.