Despite the swirling winds of time

It wasn’t too long ago when we used words like poise, dignity, grace and honor frequently when instructing people how to handle adversity. It seems backwards today however. Although tolerance seems to be the catch all word today, there is actually very little of it going around. Tolerance has morphed into a synonym of forced acceptance rather than  one of fortitude and our culture seems to be losing its spine.

We used to endorse the notion that each person is unique and should be proud of who they are regardless what people say or think. Let them say what they want, just hold your head high. Now though, we tell them to whine about it, call it abuse and pass laws against it. A hero to them is someone who can whine the loudest and get the most sympathy. Actually it is disgraceful and insecure to carry a chip on one’s shoulder. The the most effective way to combat judgmental people is to shame them with your good attitude.

You might call me old fashioned but I have the belief that good principles never get old. That the best way to have a good workplace or a school is for people to have tact and stand up to offenses by not qualifying them with a crybaby or an angry response. When a person whines or gets angry, the offender has won, regardless of the outcome. A brawler once told me that a person who remains cool is the scariest one in the room. A soft answer turns away wrath.

I suppose it is easier to arouse passion against success than to applaud success. There is little work involved afterward. Professionalism means that a person is unaffected by adverse circumstances and doesn’t let obnoxious people rile them up. We should all champion having the ability to stay steady and give room for cycles both in circumstances and in dealing with people’s moods. Those of us who are passionate know this well. It is important to steer passions toward caring and understanding rather than anger and vengeance. I have to admit that this takes more work. But this is the foundation of improving a culture. The greatest causes aren’t external ones but it lies within ourselves; where ultimately we have the most responsibility to improve.

I have been reading a book recently about how we form bias’. It is interesting how many principles apply in philosophy that are reinforced by scientific study. There are two areas that we deal with as humans and we do so much better if we can sort them out. One is random events and the other is controlled events. The book had a chapter on how we see patterns, make associations and then form opinions. The interesting thing is that many times we think we see patterns when they are really random events.

Most people have heard of gamblers odds. If a person flipped a coin and had heads show up ten times, the odds of getting a heads on the eleventh time have not increased. It is still 50/50. Having children is the same way. No matter how many girls born to a person, the odds of having a boy never increase above that of the first time. Even in basketball, there really is no such a thing as a hot streak. A person shoots at a certain percentage and while that person might be hitting a few in a row, the overall odds are the same for hitting each shot.

Where this applies to real life is that sometimes people fail in business or a relationship because of bad breaks or random events. It doesn’t always mean that actions were made that sabotaged it. This brings us to controlled events; the areas where our decisions influence the outcome. Even in this area, people react in unpredictable ways to what we do and the turnout may still end up what we didn’t want to happen. So how do we sort this all out?

We are in control of our actions and and our habits. This is a great thing and we should savor the fact that we have rational minds and can react outside of instinct if we want to. We can have goals and passions to chase and really there is nothing that can stop our forward motion. Random events might put a pause for a time but as long as we stay confident and keep moving, all will be well. The foundation is that we depend on love and kindness as general principles to guide us when people don’t react the way we would like. We should avoid the pitfall of labeling things acts of God or Fate. It is good to recognize the originating force surrounding us but random events aren’t caused by them and it is up to us to deal with ramifications. We are perfectly capable and equipped for it. Don’t let the apocalyptic crowd effect you.

Study to understand principles that can be put into habit to minimize losses from random events. This works well in finances. Some people do happen to be at the right place at the right time and get wealth. But they will still have to follow good principles to keep it. Kids that inherit and those who parents set them up still have to follow the same principles of hard work as anyone else. We have all seen those who squander. But the principles of diligence hold for everyone regardless of what one has. Eventually we come out of it if we stay diligent.

In regard to age, there is never an time where a person should kick back, get fat, lazy and self indulge. Stress has proven to be a factor for the good toward longevity. We should always try new things, explore, be curious and learn from the world around us. Even if we don’t reach the summit, we should die happy clawing our way on the rocks enjoying the view along the way. A rock might fall, weather get bad, but we’re still going forward regardless what goes on around us.
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Sometimes we think love 

As a small child I was introduced

I should get out from under the covers

When two people get together and make an agreement, there is always and expectation of a just exchange. Every individual has personal preferences that set values for them so what is just in exchanges can vary. If I like mixed media or abstract art, I will be willing to pay more and appreciate it more than another person. There are also things that have a market value which is the average price a group of individuals would be willing to pay for a product. Even relationships have value and there are expectations such as devotion and honor that we might expect to make the transaction fair. When someone feels their expectations aren’t being met they feel justified in not acquiring the product and the exchange is discontinued. When we talk about freedom this is the main point. Free people are those who can set values according to their own interests and make transactions among themselves without the interference of others.  A free market has value determined between individuals and a socialist market sets values by consensus or a panel.

Outsiders may have subject knowledge but tend to be indifferent toward personal passions and are ignorant of details. A socialist mindset starts with the thought that common people are incapable of making their own value judgments. As with all tyrannies, the subjects start out with the assumption that the oppressors have their best interests at heart. This is key to any group think or mob rule. They are in it together for a cause for a certain benefit to the group so it justifies poor judgment and bad behavior. It can be a religion, political or a social cause. But good behavior and sound judgment are based in understanding universal truths. Armed with reason, we see clearly what a just exchange really is; the correct amount of our input verses the correct amount of benefit we get out of it. This is aptly called being reasonable.

When a people are skilled at being reasonable, all of society benefits. A people who respect justice are what makes a society civil. But reason also has a critical and a penal side to it that cannot be avoided. Those who are unjust must make it right somehow. Judgment fails in two ways. First if penalties are meted out that are too severe and second if people are wrongly given a pass. In our personal lives we use judgment too but in the same way individuals should have a free exchange of goods to have a free market, we should also have the ability to use judgment and grace as we see fit. Reasonable people rightly dislike the opinions of third party outsiders who are either ignorant of details or indifferent to the situation. This attitude doesn’t suddenly make them unreasonable but is more of an indication of free thought than going along with group think.

He bought her flowers 

I’m spending a little more time perfecting poems despite my busy schedule. They are like children produced from feelings. (almost three hundred) Often they need correction and perfection. Sometimes I just visit them. I have people requesting a book. About half are in a book formatted to publish but it all takes time. I am up to the challenge and am working on choosing what ones to put in a final draft. Input helps. Some of these are songs and I have purchased equipment to record. I want to get the gist captured myself before getting help. Anyone who has done this in the past knows how the inspiration can unintentionally be lost or diluted by others. Technology allows us grace and means to experiment with what is our heart. Hope your day is going well and don’t worry, absence of new stuff means I am working with the kids in other ways. 🙂 The best is yet to come!

He saw her picture the other day