It wasn’t too long ago when we used words like poise, dignity, grace and honor frequently when instructing people how to handle adversity. It seems backwards today however. Although tolerance seems to be the catch all word today, there is actually very little of it going around. Tolerance has morphed into a synonym of forced acceptance rather than  one of fortitude and our culture seems to be losing its spine.

We used to endorse the notion that each person is unique and should be proud of who they are regardless what people say or think. Let them say what they want, just hold your head high. Now though, we tell them to whine about it, call it abuse and pass laws against it. A hero to them is someone who can whine the loudest and get the most sympathy. Actually it is disgraceful and insecure to carry a chip on one’s shoulder. The the most effective way to combat judgmental people is to shame them with your good attitude.

You might call me old fashioned but I have the belief that good principles never get old. That the best way to have a good workplace or a school is for people to have tact and stand up to offenses by not qualifying them with a crybaby or an angry response. When a person whines or gets angry, the offender has won, regardless of the outcome. A brawler once told me that a person who remains cool is the scariest one in the room. A soft answer turns away wrath.

I suppose it is easier to arouse passion against success than to applaud success. There is little work involved afterward. Professionalism means that a person is unaffected by adverse circumstances and doesn’t let obnoxious people rile them up. We should all champion having the ability to stay steady and give room for cycles both in circumstances and in dealing with people’s moods. Those of us who are passionate know this well. It is important to steer passions toward caring and understanding rather than anger and vengeance. I have to admit that this takes more work. But this is the foundation of improving a culture. The greatest causes aren’t external ones but it lies within ourselves; where ultimately we have the most responsibility to improve.